The word “connection” comes from the Latin terms com, meaning “together,” and nectere , meaning “to bind. And as for those relationships that do last, many are less than satisfactory: full of emptiness, loneliness, and misery. The more reactive a partner is, the more likely they are to act in ways that strain and suffocate the relationship. The inconvenient truth is there’s no such thing as a perfect partner, all couples fight, and feelings of love come and go like the weather. While you are bogged down in your own thought processes, fruitlessly replaying the big debate should I stay or should I go?

On the other hand, if neither of you do any work if you both choose option 3 then your relationship’s sure to go from bad to worse.

While they may have sentimental value, bibles passed down through the family are not often worth a lot of money. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. It shifts the focus to what we are in control of, instead of on what our partner is doing, which is outside of our control. But please do be careful; it’s easy to spend a lot of time combing through your childhood experiences, trying to figure out how they “made you the way you are.

As adults, they tend to avoid seeking nurture, closeness, or caring in relation ships and are therefore often lonely.These strong emotions instantly hook us, and we react by snapping, shouting, yelling, insulting, judging, criticizing, blaming, or making threats. Do any of these complaints sound vaguely familiar / Over many years, working with people from a wide variety of backgrounds, I’ve heard my clients criticize their partners for just about anything you can imagine from having bad breath to having bad taste; from having no friends to having too many; from talking too much, to talking too little; from “obses sively cleaning” to “never doing any housework at all.

Obviously, no caregiver is perfect, but if their tendency is to act in this way often and repeatedly, the child will not feel secure in that relationship. Distraction helps us avoid unpleasant feelings in the short term, but it’s often detrimental to our quality of life. Russ has done an incredible job teaching you how to nourish your relationship, even when things get rocky. Truth is, there’s no such thing as the perfect partner, just as there’s no such thing as the perfect couple. Suppose your mother was mostly loving, supportive, and kind , but your father had little time or love for you ; you’d probably be secure in your attachment to your mother, but insecure with your father.Are you struggling to cope with a major life chal lenge involving children, illness, job loss, legal action, retirement, or some thing else? Myth 3: Everlasting Love Usually when people talk about “ love,” they mean an emotional state: a wonderful mix of thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When your relationship is running smoothly, you’re getting on well with each other, and those warm, fuzzy feelings are flowing freely that’s pretty wonderful. I'm going to recommend this to all my friends and definitely use it if I ever do couple therapy/counseling.