memorable, it won’t be for the right reasons. Maintain control of your aim and force by keeping your fist Once you’ve established safe words and talked about consent, you’re ready to start exploring impact play at the most basic level. The first thing you need to know is that pain play doesn’t mean game on for the whole body. There are some places you should never hit with your hand, a paddle, or a flogger.

communicate with each other at each new step – and unless your partner is much larger or stronger than you, Finally, although disclosing your kinks can bring up a lot of internalized shame and stigma for some people, remember that kink is actually quite normal: Studies estimate that about a third of the population has tried kink in some form or another, and even more people have fantasized about it. “Don’t preface [your request] with saying, ‘This is so crazy, and I’m so weird.’ Just confidently say what you’d like to try and what you’re into,” Zane suggests. “And if they’re not into it, don’t feel rejected. Don’t try to change their mind. Gracefully accept their boundary and try to find a middle ground of something you’d both be interested in exploring.” This might be easier said than done, but remember that there are plenty of kinks you can explore solo—such as sensation play, using nipple clamps, and some types of rope bondage—if your partner’s not into it, or if you don’t have (or don’t want) a partner. Types of kinky toyseverything. Unlike yellow, you shouldn’t continue spanking them more gently. The scene is put on hold, so Domestic Discipline Strap         Grandma Slipper Paddle                         Lochgelly Tawse

How people react to each instrument is different. Pain is a relative concept. Individuals all have their own preferences. For example, if you hate the sensation of cats/floggers you will find them difficult and painful to take. Even though they’re easy to use, play smart and start slow, building up to maximum pleasure. Shop around before taking the plunge to see what kind of paddle works for you – a good sex store will have several options to choose from, so hold them in your hand to get a feel for the right material and size.

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Harm, on the other hand, lasts. It’s more than skin deep, and often has consequences attached to it. Physically harming someone means hurting their organs or bones through improper and untrained play. You may injure your partner in a way that requires medical attention, or otherwise take your play over an edge that can’t be healed with some ice and snuggles. That harm isn’t limited to physical transgressions, either. It can have mental and emotional implications, too. You don’t have to worry about buying a toy to get started. Bare hands can provide deep pleasure and offer you the greatest level of control. Experimenting with your hand is ideal for beginners who want to learn before they start to wield a toy. We recommend you clean your leather items about once every six months. Use a leather balm such as Fiebings leather conditioner, Lexol or comparable beeswax, or a lanolin leather conditioner. A good dubbin (where available), as used on football boots, also works very well to soften and protect our products. Use it on the leather implement the same way by working in with the fingers, allowing 24 hours to soak in, and then removing any excess with a dry cloth. To keep it sexy while exploring impact play, employ a safe word before the fun even begins. If you’re new to safe words, it might seem awkward, but it’s the only way to make sure you’re playing safe. And if you aren’t able to talk about safety measures, you aren’t ready for impact play. End of story.

Start easy.. Whips may be fun and picturesque, but they can be tough to get familiar with. Don’t go full Indiana Jones right out the gate, and consider opting for a crop whip or other smaller toy at first to gain confidence in your skills. Before bringing the toy over to your lover’s house, practice on a pillow, and watch an instructional video first. Canes and rods Thuddy pain is lower, duller, and spreads over a broad stretch of your body. Paddles, hands, and floggers spread out their impact, delivering a delightful thud. Our culture feeds us the lie that if we’re going to do something, we have to push it to the max. We all say “go big or go home” about basically everything, from whether to have another drink to asking for a raise. When it comes to sex, throw that attitude right out the window. Discover what kind of impact play works for you without judging yourself about how hard or soft you like it. Don’t worry about what other people have to say, and just explore your own sensations, free of any ideas about what your pleasure should look like.This is just a general guide so please note The hardness/ softness of any instrument will actually depend on the intensity of the given stroke. Every piece of equipment is different; two types of similar straps may for example, have completely different intensities. New leather equipment will soften with use and a very hard instrument may become quite gentle over time. Their exclusive methods produce the rich coloured organic leather favoured by distinguished shoemakers and top stables for its quality, durability, and finish. Using river water, oak from renewable sources, and time dedicated to slow tanning, the natural weave of the fibres in each hide is preserved, resulting in unique hard-wearing luxury. They do not buy seconds or remnants of hides and in fact, look for the specific requirements of their clients when choosing leather. Straightforward in design, don’t let them fool you: they can leave some marks. If you’re feeling a little tentative, consider a rod bundle. The multiple rods in one ease up on the intensity, delivering strong sensations without getting too intense. Bare hands

That way, your partner will feel the zing without any lingering jaw pain or ringing ears. Learn from the best You may be eager to dive in and get those welts that linger, but start slow. Explore your pain tolerance and get well acquainted with it so you can learn what your boundaries are, and where you get the most pleasure. Playing like this is a hands-on activity, and you can’t be a master overnight. But when your partner’s physical wellbeing hinges on your skills, it’s smart to take as many precautions as possible. The best way to learn? Getting some professional help. A fun way to do that is to hit up a local play party or sex club. Many play parties are a tasting platter of a variety of kinks, welcoming the most seasoned Fet Lifers and the newly curious with open arms. A play party gives you the chance to explore many kinds of pleasure without needing to be a pro. If you’re partnered, go together to a play party and talk to the person who’s doling out spankings.about six inches from the desired point of impact. You’ll still be able to deliver a wallop, but won’t harm