Which is spot on, the root of our suffering. We imprison and repress our feelings and suppress them in Others. Have fun with this one, couples! The book actually suggests having these talks naked! Yep, you read that right — totally In THA NUDE. If you feel comfortable with that — go for it! What better way to be vulnerable and deepen your level of intimacy than by baring it all?!

The book makes a couple of meta-points. First, you should go on a date every week. It’s not about the movie or the dinner you share, it’s about just having protected time away from screens in which you talk to each other. You probably have a weekly 1:1 at work, this is at least more important than those. Second, you should treat your partner primarily with curiosity throughout the course of your life. The mindset is: “the person who woke up today is not the same person who went to bed the night before.” Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, is a celebrated integrative physician and author or co-author of five books. General descriptionStrengthen and deepen your love with a fun, ingenious program of eight life-changing conversations–on essential topics such as money, sex, and trust–from two of the world’s leading marriage researchers and clinicians. Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort–and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range–from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put Into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions–will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before–and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve. Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John M. Gottman – eBook Details Okay — now that we know all that, the goal is to be as open as possible during this conversation. If talking about sex makes you anxious, the Gottmans suggest writing down your ideas so you can read them to your partner, rather than discussing them off the cuff when you’re face-to-face. In addition to your notes, bring along your sense of vulnerability, passion and open-mindedness. Ooh la la! What we did:Scott cooked a delicious edamame pasta, then we ventured out to a local coffee shop to share a vanilla rooibos tea, worksheets in tow. The exercise asked us to review 25 common conflicts — like differences in punctuality, independence, and ambition — and circle the ones relevant to our relationship, then compare and discuss. Express tolerance, empathy, and understanding toward your partner during an intimate conversation. So, try making empathic statements such as “I understand how you feel” or “I’m on your side.” Don’t let your partner doubt your presence and your compassion at no point.

Thinking about ways to cherish your partner will give power to your connection," the authors wrote of this exercise, and it definitely did.On this date, you’ll probe each other about the dreams that are most important to you, and how you can best support one another in fulfilling those goals. It will be fascinating to see how many of your dreams match (as well as differ). Of course, the end-goal for this discussion is to come up with ways to help each other fulfill your greatest aspirations. Hold this date someplace that feels inspiring to each of you — a hilltop at sunset, the beach, on a walk around your favorite area, etc.