Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide

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From the diabolical imagination of Edgar Award–winning novelist, playwright, and story-songwriter Rupert Holmes comes a devilish thriller with a killer concept: The McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts, a luxurious, clandestine college dedicated to the fine art of murder where earnest students study how best to “delete” their most deserving victim. Were there things that should've been edited/removed? Of course. But, regardless of faults, I was FEASTING! Dobson had not taken his eyes off my face, but it seemed safe to assume he didn’t have a schoolboy crush on me. “Were you planning to ask why I want to know where you were?” he asked with genuine curiosity. “See, usually when I ask someone for an alibi, they want to know why.” Most importantly, remember the McMasters golden rule: "Do in others as you would have others do you in." The McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts is a Poison Ivy League university that teaches the art of assassination, or “deletion” as they call it. Students learn all the ways to kill and to avoid being killed, and the mandatory graduation thesis is getting away with the perfect murder.

Not sure why this took me so long to get through! It's certainly a uniquely told story from a unique author, filled with a bit of mystery and humor and a lot of drama. In some ways, it reminded me of a TJ Klune book, and in other ways of a quirky suspense tale. If the illustrations of Edward Gorey came to life, they would be in the same neighborhood as this ‘Poison Ivy League’ college. . . . Although this beautifully designed DIY manual is full of twists, the emphasis is on comedy . . . but the extraordinary Holmes can pull the heartstrings too. . . . You will love this gigglesome guide to the graves of academe.” —The Times (London) Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide, Vol. 1 is the clever brainchild of author, playwright, composer, and singer-songwriter Rupert Holmes. It’s still a safety,” said the sergeant, adding, “Oh, and Cliff? The gun isn’t loaded. But the captain’s is.”Brilliant concept: a finishing school for would-be murderers teaching you how to do it and get away with it. I liked the start, in the form of a sort of handbook, and the depiction of the students at work. So I was sunk. If Dobson knew enough to show me those sunglasses, then he had me dead to rights. I wondered if they planned to arrest me here and now. I sure would have liked a last beer before going to prison. I doubted they had beer in the death house. Certainly not draft. Suddenly, life imprisonment and a job in the library sounded like a vacation in sunny Madrid. With a final thesis before him, Cliff will have to develop the perfect plan to kill someone and ensure that he is not caught. He relies on some of his fellow students and those around him who have ideas that could help him. However, he is also the target of others who seek to exemplify all they have learned from the McMasters Conservatory. When presented with the time to complete his final assignment, Cliff will have to decide if all this training is worth it, turning him into the ideal murderer. Rupert Holmes does well to create an eerie and thought-provoking book, whose realism is left to the reader’s imagination. Although this beautifully designed DIY manual is full of twists, the emphasis is on comedy . . . but the extraordinary Holmes can pull the heartstrings too.’ THE TIMES With all of the detailing and overtly explaining how they all learned and planned their murders - the methods were smart, don't get me wrong - it became kind of repetitive. The book was way too long.

The telling difference would be that this particular shove would occur while Fiedler was standing at the edge of the platform as the IRT train bulleted into the station. Prepare for an education you'll never forget. A delightful mix of witty wordplay, breathtaking twists and genuine intrigue, Murder Your Employer will gain you admission into a wholly original world, cocooned within the most entertaining book about well-intentioned would-be murderers you'll ever read. Edgar winner Holmes frames this cheeky 1950s-set crime novel as a self-study guide for those who can’t afford tuition to the McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts, a ‘finishing school for finishing people off’ . . . [the] farcical plotting, idiosyncratic characters, and witty, stylish prose combine for a fun, frothy read. Fans of humorous historical fiction will be well entertained.” — Publishers Weekly I have to be honest, I went into this with low expectations and was absolutely blown away. Murder your Employer follows the stories of three McMasters students as they prepare to, well, murder their employers. There are multiple POVs and an omniscient narrator, which I don't see a lot of but thought was the perfect choice for this book. I'm purposely leaving out almost all plot details because it's way more fun to go into this one knowing almost nothing and just let the book happen to you. (I'm sure it would also be fun to try and figure out what's going to happen, but I'm not that kind of reader.)The plot had me intrigued and invested the whole time. I loved the setting of the school, from classes to the assignments given to through the eyes of our main characters. Witty dialogue and banter helped the book to maintain a consistent flow instead of feeling stunted. A story with humor that's not overdone, details and "twists" were logical and keeps you on your toes along with characters that aren't the ordinary papier-mâché stereotypes. The campus of this “Poison Ivy League” college – its location unknown to even those who study there – is where you might find yourself the practice target of a classmate… and where one’s mandatory graduation thesis is getting away with the perfect murder of someone whose death will make the world a much better place to live. Murder Your Employer is quite funny (and punny) and clever, and definitely satirical at times. The narrator’s voice was unlike any other writing style I’ve read, and I loved it.

I handed Stedge his gun. “I was never going to shoot either of you,” I said, as if they might wish to understand me better. “There’s only one person in the world I want to kill, and I thought if I could get away from you, I might have a second chance.” I looked at their passive faces and mumbled, “You can’t understand.”

Table of Contents

Added to that, the set up wasn't consistent. First, you open up the book to read the foreword of the current dean of McMasters, the school. Then it starts adding exerpts in from one of the new students' diary, the diary of Cliff Iverson. The first chunk of the book is actually just that, with some additional quotes and info from the dean. But then, quite a chunk in, we start to have two more perspectives. So where, from Cliff's and the dean's perspective we see Dulcie and Gemma as side characters for a big part of the story, all of a sudden they're also main characters?? Rupert Holmes, of "Piña Colada Song" fame, has given mystery lovers a real treat. Especially if you like mysteries that play with genre and format, which this very much does. Something I didn't know going in is that this is also historical fiction, taking place in the years just after the second world war, so it's more like Agatha Christie levels of technology here, which does affect the type of mysteries you get. We follow three characters as they make their way to the McMasters Conservatory, a school whose sole goal is to teach its students how to commit their perfect murder on an appropriate target. (I enjoyed that it is explained to us that certain types of murders are not allowed, only the killing of targets whos absence from the world would make it better is approved.) You see, once a student sets foot on campus, there are only two ways to depart: either as a fully accredited graduate or in an attractive urn. Rupert Holmes was born on February 24, 1947, in Northwich, Cheshire, England. Soon after, he ventured forth to America (New York) with his British mum and Air Force dad. After graduating from the Manhattan School of Music, Mr. Holmes delved into the art of melodious sound. A successful piano player for both the Cuff Links and the Buoys, with whom he had his first international hit, "Timothy," in 1971, Rupert also wrote and arranged songs for Gene Pitney, The Platters, The Drifters and the Partridge Family. Kudos, Mr. Holmes, for a unique book and perspective on things. I will have to see if there are other books in the same vein to do some comparisons.